Excited to be writing my first blog on my website! My first topic will be discussing the journey of reconnecting with myself.
I have come to believe in showing the parts of a therapist that make us human, can promote the true connection/application to introspection, and how no one is above the need to self-reflect and evolve.
As someone who works in psychotherapy, connecting to others has never been something that involved work on my end. That natural ability has fulfilled me, and drove me towards a field I can honestly say I love working in every day.
Turning that connection off on the other hand, requires constant mindful attention that doesn’t always feel good or easy to do. Though, is extremely necessary in accomplishing healthy balance, and preventing exhaustion or compassion fatigue.
When I interview clinicians, the most common area they identify as a “weakness” is bringing work home with them. As someone who promotes self-care, I feel that true self-care starts with having a strong 💪 relationship with yourself, asserting what you need, and establishing strong boundaries. I have recognized over the years to truly accomplish this it requires reflection on true self-fulfillment that we may be neglecting to the dependence of a relationship, job, or environment to do this for us.
When a person is led to believe that advocating their needs, feelings, is wrong or dismissed they may not feel natural doing so, and subject themselves to things that are not good for them. There is a level of guilt that goes in advocating for what they want and need in their life that results in anxiety, depression, and resentment.
As a therapist and person, my goal is to remind people that their feelings are valid. No matter who discounts them or dismisses them. They are valid! Helping someone navigate where to go with those feelings, and the thoughts that emerge from them, or the actions they take or don’t take because of them. Is where I have made my life focus.
I can honestly say I recognize now somewhere in this past year with the stress and crisis of COVID-19, I steered away from this. It had me feeling defensive of my actions, focused on right and wrong, judgmental of behaviors, and assuming things based in no evidence other then my own feelings. This perspective is not me at my core. I began to discover I wasn’t even aware of how burnt out I actually was. When we are burnt out or exhausted we can lose ourselves in the process. I knew I didn’t feel like myself but, I struggled to identify why.
When feeling lost, I often find taking space brings perspective, and allows the ability to best connect with myself. With much reflection I realized In a situation, where you feel you are exposed to toxicity there is always an opportunity to learn and grow if you let it.
To notice stress, toxicity, distrust, negativity, manipulation is healthy, and acknowledging it is important. To put energy there when there is no personal benefit other then feeling drained, depleted, guilty for putting up boundaries for self-care, is a painful place to keep energy. It can make you feel like a victim of your circumstances. When you feel like a victim of your circumstances, it can take you away from where you can flourish and truly present to the things that are good for your soul/life. This can be a hard habit to break for those who don’t feel they deserve too.
To acknowledge bad energy or vibes exist is important. I spent a lot of time trying to make bad energy good when maybe it had no desire to be, and wasn’t capable of it. I felt that I could not be good unless the energy around me was fixed first. Which often left me defeated, depleted, and helpless. Which is not a good place for a true optimist.
Today, I have centered back to what connects me to myself, and where my energy is best spent. That is no matter the flaw, the disappointment, the bad or good of a situation. I will always chose to focus on the beauty of it, of the person, the place. Rather then to control it or change it. I will always focus on my options rather then circumstances. The solution rather then the problem... I could go on.
I have choices of the part I play, the energy I bring, how that is received is no longer my concern. I know at the end of the day. I am always authentic, honest, genuine in my actions. I choose to put energy in myself first because, of that I can be the best version of myself to those around me.
That is MY job, no one else can do it for me. It is my job to be the best version of myself for myself. It is my job to be the best version of myself for those around me. For the clients I see, the staff I clinically supervise. Not let my own personal biases, judgements, effect what I consider valid or not in anyone else’s journey. Bringing myself back to this place where I can embody this and be total with confidence. I am whole🙏🏻. I manifest that I will continue on this journey of self-care, worth, and confidence professionally and personally. “Be who you are and, be that well.” Is a quote that always spoke to me. This week that has shown through.
